I’m a fat girl. I’ve always been a fat girl and when I think back, fat-shaming has ALWAYS been present in my life. I can clearly remember the unpleasantries often spewed by my mom about my weight, from a classmate making fun of my size 32 Levi jeans (that d*mn size on the label) when I was in the fourth grade and the hundreds of “You’re cute to be a fat girl” remarks. In spite of the fat-shaming, I was able to find love in the midst of the fat.
Last week, someone posted a link to Nicole Arbour’s, Dear Fat People rant in one of my Facebook groups. I saw the comments and kept it moving. Who needs more ignorance in their atmosphere? Certainly, not me. But the video just kept circulating and I couldn’t ignore it. The first time I watched the video, I was left with my head cocked to the side. Flabbergasted. All I could say was, “No b*itch, you will not be fat-shaming me today.” Honestly, I had to watch the video a few times and each time I was more shocked than the last. No this bish didn’t.
Previous to seeing this tasteless attempt at comedy, I had never heard of this self-proclaimed comedian, Nicole Arbour. From what I’ve seen, this misguided soul is not a comedian. An @sshole with an Internet connection, maybe. But not a comedian. Whoopi Goldberg is a comedian. Hell, Martha Stewart is a comedian (Did you see her in the Justin Bieber roast? Epic.) But, Nicole Arbour needs to go back to the drawing board.
In Dear Fat People, Arbour says:
Fat-shaming is not a thing. Fat people made that up. That’s the race card with no race.
She goes on to say:
If there are people watching this video who have a specific health condition, this is not aimed at you.
If you’re going to be rude, nasty, ugly and tacky, own your ish. Don’t try to throw disclaimers out there as a disguise. Just, do you. But, how do we know the fat people who are suffering from health conditions that have led to them being overweight versus those without? Do we wear t-shirts? Colorful wristbands? Headbands? How would you know this? Better yet, why is it your freaking business?
I could go on and on about the damages and emotional toll that fat-shaming has on people. You don’t have to be obese to be fat-shamed either. It’s one thing to point out weight gain, but to ridicule or insult someone because of it takes it to another level. It doesn’t matter if it’s a parent, sibling or spouse negatively pointing out your muffin-top, fat-shaming is fat-shaming.
It’s clear that Arbour thinks that a small and skinny frame means you’re healthy. I have many small friends with high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes. Weight doesn’t determine your health condition. Can it play a factor? Yes. But, is it the ultimate determining factor? Hell, no! If that were the case then the hospital would be filled with fat people and all the skinny people would be home living healthy lives.
Contrary to popular belief, fat-shaming is a THING. Anytime you choose to shame others based on their conditions, lifestyle or choices, you’re attempting to shame them. More so, it’s a form of passive aggression from people who tend to be miserable in their own lives and they have to find fault in the lives of others.
If you don’t have anything good to say then shut your damn mouth. It’s really that easy. As content creators, we have the ability to spark change with our mediums. Do we really want to leave a legacy of shaming others when we could be encouraging and inspiring others? We have enough hate in the world, so why add to it?
Misery loves company, and it’s clear that Arbour is a miserable… Maybe she’ll see that there are consequences for her actions since she was just cut from a gig and others should follow suit. It’s easy to talk about what we are not. As I strive to live a healthier life while fighting PCOS, I will not be bullied or fat-shamed by anyone. Not even you, Nicole Arbour with your piss-poor attempts at satire.
Have you ever been fat-shamed or shamed for any other reasons? How did you handle it?